I usually like to wait some time after a hike to write about it...time passage lends itself to different perspectives.  But after our time in Yosemite this past weekend...I cannot hold it in!  It started innocently enough, a girls' weekend in the woods.  We can do a little hiking, a lot of partying and enjoy beautiful scenery.  I agreed to join in, happy and excited to engage in another "chicks kick ass" chapter in my life.  After we got to Yosemite and took in some of the beauty, we went to our tent cabin.  Along the way to Cabin 521, we saw the most curious thing.  We observed what appeared to be, a young man in relatively good shape walking like a 98 year old man.  We giggled to ourselves about it and rushed off to dinner so we could do some serious "carbo-loading".  One large pizza later, we headed off to our tent to rest up for the next day. 

The alarm rang at 4:30 am and we drug ourselves out of bed.  We agreed that the poor nights' sleep was due partly to the cold, the neighbors snoring like bears, crying babies, youngsters partying and a couple having "Yosemite Sex".  Coffee was the priority at that moment...we needed to get ready for our 18 mile hike (DID I SAY THAT???????).  When we met with the other two gals, we found out that the bears were very active in the camp that morning and that the snoring we thought sounded like a bear growling, probably was.  One of the girls had a near-bear (like 6 feet away) experience getting her food out of the bear-proof locker.

Six am and we were off, five fearless women, eager and ready for the ascent to Half Dome.  The weather was beautiful, the river was beautiful, all the waterfalls, yep, you guessed it...beautiful.  But we never really thought about how popular this trek was.  One gal commented that it was like going to the mall, except for the squirrels and granite and stuff.  After about 8 miles you get to a flat shady area where people stopped, rested, ate, etc.  We were hiking in 2 groups, I was in the slower group and we arrived at the flat area around 1:30 pm.  We had a set of walkie talkies that came in useful (when we had signals). The first group was at the base of the cables where you begin the final ascent.  They radioed back down to let us know it was a long wait.  The cable reviews of people coming down from the top varied from "piece of cake" to "terrifying" .  But at the moment, we were resting, eating and hydrating.  Getting our strength up just to discuss our options.  The first group (2 gals) decided to come down without climbing the cables...it was late already and it would add another 2 hrs to what we knew would be the death march home.  The three of us talked about our plan.  One was content with what she had accomplished and decided not to go further.  Chris and I made the decision to climb to the base of the cables and re-evaluate.

Now that climb is up these granite steps that are carved into the side of the mountain...no handrails, not even cables.  I have a little irrational fear of heights, so these stairs were daunting.  Mix that with the crazy mo fo's running up and down these stairs....can you spell d-e-a-t-h?  I decided to go slowly and just keep looking down at the steps...NEVER look out at the view...NEVER.  Chris and I arrived at another flat area where people were resting.  We looked up at what was ahead and I felt a wave of nausea.  I know the climb is not vertical but it sure seemed that way from our perspective.  I was ready to turn around and face going down those stairs of death at that point.  All I needed was a sense of hesitation from Chris and I was out of there. 

She suggested that we move the last 100 or so feet that would take us to the pile of gloves that you put on for traction (so you wouldn't lose your grip and fall to your death).  Funny...it started to look do-able, or the altitude was getting to me.  Either way...we agreed that we could probably do this and began the search for the perfect gloves.  Now we each brought pairs of gloves with us but we had to look, perhaps something that appeared more life-saving was among the pile.  We saw gardening gloves, heavy leather gloves, smooth leather gloves, even a pair of rubber dishwashing gloves!  I stuck with my canvas gloves with rubber-like palms.  Chris chose to mix the smooth and rough leather.  We lined up and within 5 minutes had our hands on the infamous cables.

The two sets of cables were about 5 feet apart...one cable was for people going up, the other for the lucky ones who are descending.  Every four feet there is a pole drilled into the granite (not cemented, just dropped in) on both sides.  At the base of these poles is a 2 x 4 piece of lumber.  You got to love that wood.  It was where you could rest and if you should slip, it would save your bacon!  I quickly decided my strategy would be to rest on the wood and wait for the next beam to be free.  I'd then pull myself up (NEVER looking out) and rest again.  I kept hearing the young man behind me repeat "my mother would never do this".  It didn't dawn on me until after the danger had passed that he was probably looking at me and thinking of his mom trying to do this.  I'm sure I was older than she was!  It made me think of my mom and everytime I tell her I am going on these trips.  She begs me to take up knitting like a normal woman.

About 45 minutes after our hands touched that cable for the first time, we stepped off the last 2 x 4.  We had made it.  After a few high 5s we radioed down to the rest of the group and got a garbled but unmistakable WOO HOO.  The voice over the radio asked how we felt and Chris yelled...Fuckin' A!!!  Now it's pretty crowded at the top, but it's mostly adults.  Everyone in earshot of Chris laughed and a few nodded in agreement....a perfect description of how we felt. 

After a few hero pictures, food, water and power nap (about 20 minutes total), we began the descent.  I was dreading this part more than going up.  I have this fear of falling forward and it couldn't get much worse than falling forward off Half Dome.  And actually, we witnessed some sunglasses and a water bottle falling as we were going up.  I could only imagine my limp  body bouncing down the face!  In reality, the down direction was much easier.  I decided to use my same ascent technique backing down the cables.  I did have to look down to make sure my friend, the 2 x 4, was waiting for me...but it just wasn't that frightening.  I also had a young man above me, going down face first, talk to me the whole way.  After 30 minutes, Chris and I were hugging at the base of the cables.  It was about 3 o'clock.  We knew we needed to get back before dark...the other 3 had a 2 hr head start.  I did take my time down the death steps but as soon as we hit the regular trail, we beat feet. 

After 5 hrs, we limped into camp and took a much needed shower.  We were going to celebrate with champagne but all 5 of us were worn out beyond comprehension.  We did share some food but quickly sought the comfort of the cabin.  And looked forward to the cold, the snoring, the partying noises, crying babies and (my favorite) the "Yosemite Sex".  That night the camp was like a morgue.  Apparently, quite a few of our fellow campers also made that hike...it was as quiet as a mouse.

When we arose the next morning to seek caffeine, we found out that karma is indeed at work in this universe.  We could not deny that our hobbling gait was identical to the young man that we saw just a day before.  We had actually added some nice grunts and groans befitting a mature person of, say, 98.  We started laughing and didn't stop until we were halfway home.